Not My Dream Marriage

As a middle schooler, I was obsessed with all things weddings. Not just the pretty dress or cake, but the whole nine yards: - I made an elaborate dream binder with at least 10 different themes mapped out. - I subscribed to bridal magazines. - I filled out cards for free samples of invitations and color swatches. - OBSESSED (A hobby is what I’d like to label it, but it probably bordered on something that would have evolved into a serious scrapbook fixation had I not found other creative outlets.) I can’t say, though, for as much as I planned out a beach wedding with coral and teal colors or a country wedding with all things lace, that I actually ever imagined a marriage. My fantasy only extended to the “I dos.” It’s not that I was ever anti-marriage or had harsh feelings towards it; I honestly just didn’t think about what living out a love story looked like. Boys were never at the top of my priority list, so a husband never made his way into my dreaming. I do honestly think that was a God thing; my heart didn’t know what kind of marriage it wanted because I couldn’t even process it at the time. I consider myself a recovering Type A personality, and I believe that had I envisioned a marriage, my expectations would have been so high, our story may not be what it is today. Being married to Cody is far better and fulfilling than my little 14 year old heart could have ever dreamed of! My binder didn’t have nights of Netflix binges on the couch or how grocery shopping could be fun together or road trips where we don’t even turn on the radio because we just talk.

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These past five years have honestly been the best part of my twenty-eight years. But, for as much as I've loved living life with Cody, it’s also been a way for God prune back some parts of my heart and teach me new things about myself: 1. Living with someone and spending so much time together really highlighted my flaws, especially selfishness. If you asked me before marriage, I wouldn’t identify myself as selfish, but whenever your purpose in life no longer revolves around just you, you have to make the choice to either serve or not. Being married to someone whose love language is acts of service super highlighted it all for me.

Do I want to do the dishes tonight? Nope. Will I? Yep. Why? Because I’m married to my greatest earthly blessing, and he deserves to receive love in his language. Finding small ways to serve one another has made all of the difference.

2. It’s very easy to put all of my happiness into one person-Cody-when he is so life giving. I have been (and still have to check myself on it) so guilty of putting my happiness in Cody in times where I should have leaned on God. Cody is nurturing and encouraging, and it’s my natural tendency to share all of my problems with him with the expectation that he will fix it. Would he fix it if he could? Absolutely.

The truth is, though, only Jesus can heal and restore my heart in its broken places. Now when I’m tempted to put all of my problems onto Cody, I turn it into an opportunity to praise God for sending him to my life.

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By no means do I think our marriage is perfect. Lord willing, we will spend the next 80 years together working on it. I do know this: it is strong and peaceful and full of love. The way Cody makes me feel could never have fit into one of my binders: He serves others selflessly, has a quick wit, and works so very hard at everything he does. Anyone that knows him knows that his heart is good and kind.

So today, I praise God for protecting my heart and giving me what I didn't even know I desired. Cody is my treasure from heaven, and for as long as I'm living, I want him to know that and to feel loved and respected by me. (I also can't wait for Sully to meet his dad! He's one blessed dude already!) Here’s to a fantastic five and so many more!