Three Months of Sully

My snuggly Sully,

Now that you are here and now that it’s Christmas time, I can’t help but think about Mary. The night before you were born, sleep was hard to come by. How do you sleep when you know your life is about to change? Having gone through the Advent season, the more I think about Mary. How could she sleep knowing the whole world was about to change?

Was she excited like I was? Was she nervous? Did she think about what you would look like and wonder what kind of personality her boy would have? We know from the Bible that she was filled with peace about being the mom of our Savior, and I bet that she was eager to meet her son, just like I was.

I’d love to be able to say I was calm and at ease like Mary but I’m afraid that wasn’t the case:

This picture of me and your dad the morning before you were born makes me laugh because I am clearly in angst. I’ve never had so many emotions simultaneously operating. We were about to head to the hospital, and I literally couldn’t talk without crying.

God used your birthday, though, to show me just how much He is in the details. He showed me that while I can plan all I want, He is in control and has my best interests at heart:

• I didn’t love the idea of being induced but I am a planner. Being able to point to my calendar and say “this day we will have a baby” did make my heart sing a little.

• From start to finish, labor lasted the length of a school work day (7:30-3:30). To me, that was God winking at me, telling me that staying home was the right choice; that you are my work for now.

• Our nurses attend our church, and I would occasionally hear them singing under their breath the worship songs we were playing on the speaker.

The day was honestly fun and marked with joy in every part. God eased my fears from the moment I walked into my labor and delivery room, and my heart is just so grateful.

Sweet Mary, though. I can’t help but think that If she could plan her birth experience ahead, it probably didn’t go as planned. No date on the calendar, and of course no hospital. Not even an inn. No guarantees. Just faith that God was carrying her through, Joseph, and a donkey.

Now that you are here, I feel silly for ever even being that scared. You are the light of my life, and at least once a day I tear up at how you are already growing up terribly fast. Luke 2:19 says, "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." And that’s exactly what I want to do. Every little moment is special, and I’ll treasure them always.

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Size:

Boy, I’m certain you are going to outgrow me very soon. You had an appointment a week ago, and you weighed thirteen pounds fourteen ounces. You’ve officially moved up to size two diapers and three month clothing; your pants are a little short but we’re wearing socks and calling it okay.

You can hold up your head completely on your own when being held, and you are getting your first tooth. It hasn’t made you much fussier, but it’s pitiful to watch you gnaw on whatever you can to get relief. Arms! They are flailing all over the place this week, and you are so close to being able to connect their presence with their purpose. You grip things well but not enough to intentionally hang on to them.

Eating:

I’m almost exclusively pumping now to be able to keep up with your eating. You are still eating 4-5 ounces each time, but a lot of days lately you’ve eaten that much every two hours instead of every three to four. You’re definitely growing, and I’m doing my best to keep up with you! I’m using that as an excuse to eat an extra Christmas cookie or two!

Likes/Hates:

For Christmas you got a Lovevery playmat, and I’m so happy that you love it! Your favorite part is the sound section; the crunching when you kick makes you smile. You also are loving being held high looking over our shoulders so that you can see everything. Bath time is getting fun because you kick and kick to make the water splash. If you're not playing, you're sleeping.

Right now, you still don’t really care for tummy time. You either fall asleep or cry.

Sleep:

Before we left for Christmas travel, you were getting up twice each night; however, every single night we were away you only got up once. Through a little trial and error, we think that you are hot natured and prefer it a little cooler. {cue the Hallelujah chorus! Mama likes it cold when it's time to sleep!} Tonight is our first night at home since then, so fingers crossed, you'll sleep.

Dad caught us taking a morning nap after a long night.

Favorite Moments:

Our Christmas-the one with just you, Dad, and me-was one of my all time favorite weekends. If I described all that we did, it doesn’t sound like anything special, but boy, was it. The only way I know how to put that weekend’s feeling into words is “sacred.” There was a moment there were I stepped back and almost cried because I felt Jesus with us; these little moments of dancing and snuggling are what I prayed for, and it was right there happening to me.

Family Christmases-You were such a champ during our week of travel for family Christmases! I was worried that you would be over stimulated but you handled everything like a champ: you giggled and talked to everyone and were just a ham! At the beginning of our week, you were baptized by your Shuga. How special it was to have my mom sprinkle your little head with water and confirm God's prevenient grace on your life. You were mid meal during that part of church, so you cried a little bit it’s okay. You were so cute that most didn’t care.

My personal favorite thing about this month is how you hold onto my arm when we walk around together. You squish your cheek against mine while holding on, and I just soak it all up.

This month, I’ve prayed for your future friends. I pray that God sends lifelong friends that help point you towards Jesus, that y’all will make fun and safe memories together. I pray that you are the friend your circle needs as well.

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Now I wonder what Mary and Joseph’s selfie would look like. Was she smiling? Did she have tears? Both like me?

My very favorite moments happened this year: I prayed for you, was pregnant with you, and now I get to see you grow every day. 2018 brought us the best days of our lives, so it's going to be a hard year to top. Any and every day with you is fun, though, so let's see what 2019 has in store!

Love,

Mom