Five Months of Sully

Leigh Ann
Feb 27, 2019
5 min read

My Sully monster,

Time...everyone says enjoy it because it goes by fast. Of course it does: I know how fast the five years your dad and I were married before you flew by or how quickly a school year passes or how you flip the planner page and it’s already another month. Nobody warned me, though, how my heart would hurt when I look up and realize what all happened in that “fast” time. It’s the most bittersweet emotion to watch you grow and learn. There’s a literal ache that I feel when I watch you study your toes or grin at me; my heart is tugged watching you play with new friends; it takes the breath out of me when I look at other kids and know you will be that big in a blink. Maybe it’s the hormones or maybe it’s just being a mom, but I cry every single day at how sweet and smart and big you are. Your dad and I want nothing more than for you to grow up to be a happy, healthy, and loving adult, but there’s a huge portion of our hearts that wish you’d stay small just a little bit longer.

One Second Everyday

Eating:

This month has been the hardest when it comes to physically taking care of you. Your sleep went haywire and then your skin and diapers followed. It was absolutely miserable to watch you be uncomfortable, especially when it was because of what I was doing. We figured out for sure, thanks to your doctor, that you have milk protein and soy allergies. We thought that might be the case last month but the first medicine did nothing for your itching. After a few meals out to eat, we figured out that soy is another culprit because your skin had the most pitiful scattering of red rashes after I ate Asian food. After cutting that in addition to a new cream, your tummy doesn’t hurt, you are back to sleeping better at night, and your skin looks brand new!

Physically, it’s a full time job to make sure I have what you need to eat. Literally everything I consume has to be thought out and double checked. Ordering vegan food made eliminating dairy easy, but unfortunately, soy is used as a substitute or binder in lots of things so it’s been a little trickier. Your dad is a true rock star in the kitchen and has made all of my favorite foods in a way that I don’t feel like I’m missing out; he’s the best! We went out of town this month for almost a week, and it was a struggle to keep up my calories when I depended on restaurants to meet our food needs. Now we are back home, and I’m fed and happy and so are you!

Dad makes me the best sauces to replace the heavy processed ones! One night we let you try oatmeal because we thought you might be getting too hungry: you loved it that one night but wanted nothing to do with it later on. Now that your tummy is better, you are back to drinking your milk better.

Sleeping:

Now we can officially get back to our routine! We are going to restart sleep training for naps now that the pressure to get you into a pack n play for travel is over. I know you can nap, so together we’ll figure it out! You love our routine of going upstairs, changing, swaddling, singing, and going to sleep. We just need to work on keeping you asleep for longer than 20-45 minutes. You’re showing signs of wanting to drop the swaddle so we may work on that soon too.

Likes/Dislikes: You are truly Mr. Personality! We’ve been out and about around other babies more, and you LOVE other kids! You’ve been in the church nursery now a few times, and once a week we go to a first time mom small group. It’s the best watching you interact with people, smiling at them and talking to them! You dad and I joke that we are two introverts raising an extroverted baby. You’ll definitely help get us out of our own comfort zones.

You also love riding in the stroller for our walks! You graduated out of the car seat add-on and can sit in the jogger like a big boy! We talk, listen to podcasts, and count the number of squirrels.

Right now, you dislike sleeping more than 45 minutes. You also are beginning to get frustrated with yourself when it comes to your bottle. You know you want to hold it to yourself, but you have the definitions of push and pull confused. You hold it but push it away and get annoyed that you aren't drinking it. It's really funny to watch!

Favorite Memories:

-Your Shuga came to visit for a few days, and we had a great time! Your dad and I went on a date, and you got to spend lots of time snuggling with her.

-You've officially attached yourself to a favorite toy, and it's the cutest! My mom got you a llama that has "Jesus Loves Me." Your dad named him Pete (probably because we are watching the Punisher on Netflix. Haha), and you snuggle him so hard!

-We traveled to California this month, and you rocked the trip! You were a champ on the plane ride, and I'm so relieved that you didn't like a paci! You've never had one before, and it doesn't look like you'll want one now. It helped with your ears for a few minutes though. The time difference was hard for you at night; you slept less there than you did even as a newborn, but your dad, you, and I powered through. Now that we are home, you seem so content and have just been so relaxed. You're definitely a homebody like me!

-The way you and your dad play warms my heart! Y'all watch car videos on YouTube so that I can take naps or run do errands or just have some quiet time. Buddy, your dad loves you so much, and I can't wait for the memories you will make!

Buddy, right now our bodies are so closely tied together, and it's a huge responsibility and privilege to take care of you. I just never quite anticipated that my heart would put in so much work, too. Every ache, every heart exploding moment just makes me love you more and more. One day, you will be really big and not need me, so I'm holding on to these moments so tightly. "I wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have you!"